


Bobby's Addiction

by Bathenafan14



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:54:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23690389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bathenafan14/pseuds/Bathenafan14
Summary: Bobby relapses. How will it affect his family and friends?
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash
Comments: 58
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

Athena sent Bobby another text. This one in all caps. Not that that meant he would respond. It was close to midnight and he wasn't home. He had texted her that he was off shift hours ago, but he never came home. She was about to call him for the 7th or 8th time when she heard the lock click. 

Bobby walked in, his coat in one hand, a few of his buttons undone on his shirt. 

"Where the hell have you been?" Athena whisper yelled at him, her fists balled on her hips.  
He took a few staggering steps. "You're drunk." She froze. Her mind went blank. She was scared and angry at the same time. 

"I had a few drinks." He tossed his coat onto the back of the couch. Athena could smell the whiskey on him.

"Bobby, what were you thinking?" She asked. He ignored her, instead walking towards the bedroom.  
"Robert. Don't walk away from me." He did not get to ingore her. Not now. Not when he was home hours later than he should have been and drunk.

"What do you want Athena?" He turned around. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I do." Her voice was raised slightly. She still remembered Harry and May were asleep upstairs.

"Fine." He disappeared into the bedroom. He returned and walked over to her. "Here." He put his sobriety chip in her hand. "Happy?"

"No." Athena said calmly. She had more feelings and questions than she could sort through.

"Good night Athena." He headed to bed.

Athena looked down at the chip in her hand. Why today? Why did he do this? Why didn't he call if he was in trouble? But Athena didn't have any answers. She was angry with Bobby. Of course she was worried about what led him to drink. But she felt betrayed. She worried about the vicious cycle of addiction. What happened in the morning? What happened the next day or next? What did their future hold?

  
The next morning Athena woke up before Bobby. She rolled over and saw he was still fast asleep. She sat up slowly, careful not to wake him. Athena swung her feet over the edge of the bed. She reached for her phone, but stopped. She spotted the sobriety chip Bobby had handed to her last night sitting beside her phone. Athena sighed and picked it up. She turned it over slowly in her hands. Glancing at Bobby again, she put the chip down and got up. 

Athena went into the kitchen and called Michael. 

"Good morning." Michael answered.

"Hey, I know it's not your weekend, but could you come get the kids?"

"Everything okay? Do you and Bobby have work?" Michael asked. Athena didn't reply. "Athena?"

"Yeah. I'm still here." She glanced into the living room to make sure she was still alone. "Bobby relasped last night."

Michael gasped. "Is he okay?"

"No. No he's not." Athena's voice was barely above a whisper. 

"Are you okay?" Michael asked her.

"No, not really." Athena admitted. "Michael, I'm really worry about him."

"It will be okay." He tried to assure her. "Don't worry about the kids. I'll take them this weekend. You just worry about Bobby."

"Thank you."

"No worries. I'll be there in an hour." Michael hung up.

Athena woke the kids and told them to pack a bag for the weekend. She refused to answer their questions, but told them she and Bobby needed some time. A short while later she ushered them out the door to Michael's. She sat at the table and waited for Bobby to wake up. 

"Good morning." Bobby enter the kitchen.

Athena glanced at her watch. "Good afternoon." She corrected. 

"Where are Harry and May?" Bobby found it odd that it was so quiet.

"At Michael's." Athena replied shortly.

"I thought they were with us till next weekend." He answered.

"That was until you drank half a bottle of whiskey last night." Athena responded. 

Bobby slowly set down his coffee cup and took a seat at the table. "Oh."

"Yeah." Athena sighed. "Bobby, I'm here. I want to support you...just tell me what I can do."

Bobby stared into his cup. "I need to go to a meeting."

"Okay." Athena nodded.

"Can you drive?" 

"Sure. Just tell me when and where."

Bobby looked at his watch. "There's a meeting in an hour. I'm going to shower." Bobby left the room. 

Athena cleaned up breakfast and waited for Bobby. The couple sat silently until it was time to leave. Athena drove. When she parked the car Bobby got out. Athena waited. Thinking ahead, Athena brought her book. She pulled it out of her bag and propped it against the steering wheel. After a little while she put the book away and pulled out her phone.

Athena: Can we talk?

Hen: Now? You okay? 

Athena: Not now. Later.

Hen: You okay???

Athena: Idk. 

Hen: Okay. Let me know when you want to talk.

Athena: Thanks.

  
"Where to next?" Athena asked when Bobby returned.

"Church." He replied. Athena figured as much.

Athena parked the car, but Bobby didn't move.

"Do you want to come in?" Bobby asked.

"Do you want me to?" Athena responded.

"I would like that. If you want." Bobby shrugged.

"Okay." Athena picked up her purse and exited the car. 

"Remember the first time we came here?" Bobby asked as they walked in. 

"How could I forget?" Athena smiled. She remembered the day the spark had been ignited. Athena stepped into a pew in the back. "I'm just going to stay here."

Bobby nodded and walked down the aisle. Athena watched him sit down with his priest then averted her eyes. She wouldn't be able to hear anything but she felt like it would still be an intrusion if she watched.

  
"How are you Bobby?" His priest asked.

Bobby wordlessly shook his head. He was embarrassed and angry with himself. "I messed up. I drank last night. And not just one drink."

"And what did you do today?" His priest didn't ask why. The reason didn't matter to him.

"Got up, showered, went to a meeting, and now I'm here."

"Why?"

"Why did I drink? Bobby questioned.

"Why are you here?" 

"To make ammends. To apologize. To ask for fogiveness." Bobby's anger with himself was rising.

"You want to be sober." The priest stated.

"Yes." Bobby said firmly, " He glanced over his shoulder toward Athena. "I let Athena down. I let Harry and May down. Bobby sighed. "I'm angry at myself. I was weak. I don't want to be this man. I… I'm ashamed. This isn't the first time I've relasped. I know the hurt and pain I'm causing." Bobby buried his head in his hands. "Father, I can't lose her. I can't lose them. I can't lose my family."

"Show them you you want to be. Don't give up on them." The priest advised. "Shall we pray?"

Bobby nodded. After several minutes he stood. "Thank you Father."

"Anytime." He smiled.

Bobby's footsteps echoed down the aisle. "Ready." He paused in front of the pew Athena was sitting. 

Athena stood and followed him out. She didn't reach for his hand and he didn't offer his. Their hands remained at the their sides, something they both noticed. It was another silent ride home.  
  
Athena sighed as she turned off the ingition. She stepped out of the car without sparing Bobby another look. Bobby pulled out his phone as he followed her into the house. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to step outside and call Chief Alonzo."

"Fine." Athena nodded. "I'm going out." She blurted out as he opened the sliding door. 

"What?" Bobby turned around. His heart dropped. He hated the look on her face. She was uncomfortable.

"I...I need some space. I'm going to go for a drive. I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay." Bobby replied. He didn't know what to think of her behavior.

Athena turned on her heel and walked out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena tries to figure out what happens next. Bobby's absence is felt at the 118.

  
"Athena, come on in." Karen waved her over the threshold.

"Thena." Hen emerged from the kitchen. She knew Athena was coming over, but she wasn't ready to see Athena look the way she did. Hen looked concerningly at Athena, "You don't look so good."

Athena's shoulders dropped. "I…"

"Come here." Hen guided her over to the couch.

"I don't know what to do." Athena muttered.

"What happened?" Karen handed her a glass of water that she fetched from the kitchen. She had never seen Athena like this.

Athena looked to Hen, "Promise me this stays between us. This doesn't get shared with the 118." 

"Promise." Hen told her.

"Bobby drank last night. He texted me after his shift, but didn't come home. I called and texted, but they all went unanswered. He finally came home after midnight. He was drunk. I don't know how much he drank, but more than a drink or two. I tried to ask questions, but he shut me down and went to bed."

"How is he doing today?" Hen asked.

Athena shrugged. "I drove him to a meeting and then to church. At some point I'll drive him to pick up his truck. When I got home I left to come here. I haven't tried to talk to him about it since last night."

"How are the kids?" Karen questioned.

"I sent them off to Michael's. They don't know anything. They were gone before Bobby was awake."

"How are you doing?" Hen looked anxiously at her friend.

"I don't know." Athena shook her head. "I'm worried about him. I don't know what would push him over the edge like this." Athena sighed. "I'm angry. Can I be angry?"

"Yes." Hen replied automatically.

Karen gave her wife a look then turned back to Athena. "Why are you angry?"

Athena let out a dry laugh. "Where to begin. All the unanswered calls and texts aren't enough? The stumbling through the door drunk? Refusing to answer any of my questions?" She looked down at the floor unable to meet either of their gazes, "The betrayal." Karen and Hen shared a signifcant look over the top of Athena's lowered head. "I know addiction is a disease and it's something Bobby has to deal with everyday. That he's never going to be free of it. But I don't understand this. Why now?" She looked at Hen. "Did anything happen at work?" She was searching for an explanation as Bobby refused to give her one. "Maybe a call pushed him over the edge?"

Hen shook her head, "It was a busy shift, but we didn't lose anyone." She thought for a moment thinking back to the day before. "Bobby came in quietly. He muttered something to himself about making it through the day. Did you notice anything in the morning before he came to work?"

"No, I was on the night shift. I got home after he had already left for work." Athena replied. "What do I do?" She changed the focus back her herself.

"What do you want to do?" Karen asked nervously not entirely sure what Athena meant. 

"Do I wait for him to bring it up? Do I hold his hand and tell him it'll be okay? Do I get mad and yell? Last time I just let him do what he needed to do."

"What do you mean last time?" Hen looked uneasily at Athena.

"The laced brownies." Athena reminded her. "Y'all were all high as kites."

"Right." Hen couldn't help but grin at the memory. "Well what did you do for Bobby last time?"

"Not much. I told him it wasn't his fault. We talked about it. I gave him space. But…" she trailed off.

"But this time is different." Karen finished for her.

Athena nodded. "Last time he was pushed off the wagon. This time he fell off on his own."

"Well I don't think yelling will do either of you any good." Hen pointed out. "He knows he has to make amends to you at some point, but you don't have to wait till he comes to you. If there's something you want him to know, tell him."

Athena nodded. "Okay."

**

"Hi." Bobby walked into the living room to greet Athena when she returned.

"Hi." Athena responded. She stopped, standing in the the middle of the living room. She stood there just looking at him. She didn't know if they were going to go back to the heavy, awkward silence or if he was going to try and say something.

"Athena." Bobby began but Athena held up her hand. He went quiet and waited for her to speak.

Athena dropped her purse onto the couch and walked over to him. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him. The hug took Bobby by suprise, but after a moment he put his arms around her. He held her close. Athena needed a few moments to figure out what she wanted to say to him. Athena took a step back. "Bobby," she spoke quietly, "I'm angry and scared and I have questions I need answered."

"Okay." Bobby nodded. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and stepped a back. He knew this was coming and he waited for her continue.

"But not today." Athena continued. "What matters right now is you. You have not once left my side, I'm not leaving yours." That was the one thing she did know. She would support him however she could. 

"Thank you." Bobby bowed his head. He felt guilty. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, not that she was giving it. He was relieved she wasn't leaving him. At least not yet. Honestly Athena was acting much calmer than he expected.

"What did the chief have to say?" Athena shrugged offer her coat and tossed it onto the couch.

"Not much. I wasn't on duty so as long as I'm still sober by tomorrow night I'm cleared to work."

"And will you be sober?" Athena couldn't help but ask.

"I will." Bobby said firmly. He didn't like the uncertainty in her voice. "but I'm not going to work. I asked the chief for the week off." He looked at Athena's expression as she processed what he said. "I want some time to focus on me. I want to feel rock solid before I go back to work and have to tell them."

"You don't owe them an explanation." 

"I do." Bobby nodded. "I am their captain. They put their trust and faith me in everyday. I need to be honest with them."

"Alright." Athena understood. "And what about me?" She asked cautiously.

"What about you?" Bobby realized it wasn't the best thing to say when she averted her gaze. But Bobby wasn't sure what she wanted him to say because she just said she didn't want to talk about this today. 

Athena was quiet for some time. "Do I get an explanation?"

"Whenever you want it." Bobby told her. "You said you didn't want to talk about it today. But I want you to know that I know." Athena looked confused. "I know you are hurting. I know I hurt you. I know you left earlier because you couldn't stand to be here with me." Athena opened her mouth to protest but shut it quickly. It was true., "I hate that I've hurt you like this Athena. I know you sent Harry and May to Michael's to prevent them from seeing me like this. Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it. I just want you to believe me when I say I want to be sober Athena."

She took his hand but remained quiet for what felt like minutes, "I believe you." She felt a few tears run down her cheeks. 

Bobby hugged her. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm here, Bobby. You'll get through this." Athena was talking to herself too. She would get through this. She didn't know how or when, or what their relationship would look like on the other side, but right now that wasn't her concern. Helping Bobby keep his sobriety one day at a time was what she was focused on right now.

**

"Anyone else think it's weird Bobby isn't here?" Buck asked.

A chorus of "no" was the response.

"Maybe he's sick." Eddie supplied.

"Maybe he and Athena finally took that honeymoon." Chimney volunteered. 

"We literally jist saw her on a call an hour ago." Hen reminded him.

"Right." Chimney shook his head.

"So none of you are worried?" Buck asked again. Bobby had missed two shifts already and Buck had a feeling he couldn't shake.

"Look," Hen set down her mop. "We know it isn't like Bobby to take time off. But him being out for a week isn't something to be worried about."

"I'm going to call him." Buck pulled out his phone.

Hen grabbed it. "Don't. Give Bobby his space. If he wants to talk to us he will. When he's ready."

"You know something." Chimney looked at her. "He called you."

"He didn't." Hen replied. It was the truth. She hadn't talked to him.

"Fine, then Athena did." Eddie remarked noticing a look on Hen's face.

Hen sighed. "Yes, Athena told me something. I don't know for sure why Bobby isn't here. Like Eddie said, he could be sick." Athena hadn't said anything more to Hen since she dropped by the house. She thought Bobby's absence likely had to do with his sobriety, but she couldn't say for sure. "Bobby will tell us when he's ready."

The others nodded and the subject wasn't discussed again for the remainder of Bobby's absence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby confesses to his team and tells Athena the truth.

"You ready for this?" Athena poked her head into the bedroom and leaned against the door frame. "First day back." She stepped into the room.

Bobby turned to look at her. "I'm ready." He kissed her cheek, "I love you." He picked up his bag and turned to leave.

"Wait." Athena said softly. Bobby turned back around. "I love you too. Don't think you're walking out that door without giving your wife a proper kiss." She kissed him properly. "I'm around if you need me." Athena had the day off.

"I'll see you tonight." He left.

Athena stared at the door long after he had left. She felt her normal amount of worry for her husband going off for his shift. But a new feeling also settled in the pit of her stomach. She didn't trust him. Not yet. He told her he would be home after shift, but she wouldn't believe it until he walked through the door. This wasn't worry he wouldn't make it home, this was worry he would drink again. Athena sighed. She didn't want to feel this way. Of course she wanted to trust Bobby without reservation, but she wasn't there yet.

**

Bobby arrived early for his shift. He went up to the loft and began working on breakfast. He heard his crew begin to gather as the other shift began to change and head home. 

"Breakfast!" Bobby called over the railing down into the truck bay. He watched everyone come up the stairs. Soon his whole crew was gathered. After everone was done eating Bobby stood up.

"There's something I need to get off my chest before we start this shift." Looks were shared amongst the crew. "Obviously you all noticed my absence last week. You put your lives and trust in me every shift, so I knew I couldn't be here until I was ready to tell you the truth. I lost my sobriety. I fell off the wagon and needed some time to get back on track." He put his hand into his pocket and pulled out his one week chip. "I am one week sober." Bobby set it on the table in front of him. "I'm sorry for breaking your trust."

Without a word his team walked around the table and engulfed him in a group hug. A few people welcomed Bobby back.

"Thank you for telling the truth." Hen said.

"We're happy to have you back." Buck nodded.

"We've got your back Cap." Eddie clapped Bobby on the back. 

"You earned this." Chimney handed the chip back to him.

"Thank you." Bobby was grateful for their support. "Back to work." He ordered and the team dispersed to their various chores while they waited for a call. Hen stayed back.

"How are you doing? She asked.

"Just focusing on getting through one day at a time." Bobby took a seat.

"How are things with Athena? Hen hadn't talk to Athena about the situation since the day after it happened.

Bobby shrugged. "She's been quietly supportive. I haven't…We haven't really talked about it yet. I told her she could have an explanation whenever she wanted it, but she hasn't asked. I don't know if that means she's not ready, she doesn't want to know, or if she is waiting for me to bring it up."

"Maybe part of you doesn't want to talk about?" Hen proded.

Bobby shook his head, "I will tell her anything. I just worry what she'll think of me when she knows. What if she leaves me Hen." Bobby finally voiced the worry that had been bouncing around in his head all week.

"Bobby," Hen sympathize. She understood his worry. She had done some things that she thought would cause Karen to leave her over the years. And Hen honestly didn't know what Athena was thinking, so she couldn't be totally certain about Athena's thoughts and feelings. What Hen did know was that Bobby and Athena loved each other and had already stood by each other through some tough times. "Don't you think you both deserve more credit than that? You both have had dark moments and you've forgiven each other."

"Yes, but she's already forgiven me for so much."

"Bobby," Hen said gently. "You have a disease. Athena isn't going to throw you out to the wolves because of it."

Bobby grinned knowing Hen was trying to lighten the mood. "She might."

"Just talk to her. Tell her whatever you want. This is for you to." She reminded him. "This is you making amends too, not just you giving her answers." She advised. "And Bobby," she added as Bobby stood up, "She's struggling with feelings too."

"I know." Bobby nodded. "Thanks Hen."

**

Athena was cooking dinner when Bobby texted to say he was on his way home. By the time he walked through the door Athena was ready to serve dinner. 

"Hi." Bobby greeted her with a kiss as he joined her in the kitchen.

"How was your day?" She inquired.

"Good. It felt good to be back out there." He answered.

"How did the other thing go?" She handed him a plate of food.

"Well." Bobby nodded. "I know I have to continue to earn back their trust, just like I have to earn yours." He not so subtly shifted the attention to her. Athena looked up from her plate. "I know you don't trust me right now Athena."

Athena wiped her lips with her napkin. "I trust you." 

"Not the same way you did before."

"Bobby I…" Athena didn't know what to say.

"Listen, I don't expect you to trust me to right now. I don't deserve it."

Athena set down her fork and let out a frustrated sigh, "Do you want to have this conversation right now? Fine, I don't trust you Bobby." She leaned back in her chair ignoring the rest of her dinner, turning all her attention to Bobby.

"I'm not trying to start a fight." Bobby noticed her defensive tone. "But, it's been a week Athena, I think it's time we talked about this. I'm ready to own up to my mistake. I can't attempt to make amends if we don't talk. You and I can't move forward until we talk. And I want us to get through this Athena."

"I want to get through this too." Athena assured him. "I promise to listen, but I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet." Athena wanted to hear from him before she made any decisions herself. 

"What do you want to know?" Bobby asked.

"All of it." 

Bobby nodded then cleared his throat. "There was a boy we saved that day on a call. He reminded me so much of…I just couldn't shake the image of him."

"But you saved him." Athena reminded him.

"We did." Bobby looked down at his empty plate. "But that's just it. I saved him but couldn't save my own son." Silence followed. Athena looked sympathically at him, but Bobby was looking at his plate and didn't see it. "I was already thinking about them that day because...Four years." Bobby whispered.

"The anniversary of the fire." Athena stated softly as it finally clicked in her head. Bobby just nodded. Now Athena felt bad. She should have known. How could she have forgotten? Every year it was a tough day for Bobby, but she hadn't remembered this year. She thought of what she would have done if she remembered. "I forgot Bobby. I'm sorry. I would have called you if I had remembered."

"It's okay." Bobby pushed aside his plate no longer feeling hungry. 

Athena felt bad still but moved on. "This boy reminded you of Bobby Jr. What happened next?"

"Like I said. I couldn't think of anything else for the rest of the shift. I couldn't stop thinking about him. The way Bobby would come and greet me when I came home. The way his eyes would light up when I told stories about work. His sweet, innocent face." Bobby was crying now. Athena got up and hugged him. She craddled his head against her stomach. "I spiraled Athena. I…" he lost the ability to speak. His sobs shook his body. 

"I've got you." Athena comforted. She felt her own tears burning in her eyes as they began to slide silently down her face. She tightened her grip on Bobby. "You're okay." 

Bobby reached his arms around her. His grief and guilt finally coming out. Athena stayed quiet letting him grieve. "I'm sorry." Bobby pulled himself together.

"It's okay to grieve. You can be sad, Bobby. You can miss Bobby and Brooke and Marcy."

"I just wanted the pain to go away. I couldn't bear it." More tears ran down his face. "It was too much."

"You have me. You aren't alone." Her words somewhat echoing what she had told him when he admitted to her that he wanted to break his sobriety after the brownie incident. Athena brushed her sleeve against his cheeks. Athena got up and cleaned the dishes, giving Bobby a moment to gather himself. She returned and sat down again. 

Bobby got up and knelt on the floor beside Athena's chair. Athena sat still, unsure what was going on. "I love you." Bobby leaned forwards and put his head in her lap. 

"I love you too." Athena gently stroked his head. "I wish you would have told me you were in trouble. I wish you felt like you could talk to me." Athena expressed her feelings.

"I didn't want to burden you. I didn't want to disappoint you." His head was still in her lap.

"Robert Wade Nash." Athena's anger flared. She stopped stroking his hair and tried to tamp down her anger. "You know you are never a burden." Athena's tone was still sharp, "If you are in trouble, asking for help does not make you a burden. How do you think I feel now?" She took a breath to try and steady her voice, "I'm angry that you would think I wouldn't care if you felt your sobriety slipping. I'm upset that you would brush off my feelings as a burden. That hurts Bobby. I hate you felt the need to hide this from me." Athena's heart ached as she felt doubt start to poison her mind. Did their relationship mean anything to Bobby?

"I messed up. I wasn't thinking." Bobby groveled. He heard the pain, anger, and hurt in her voice. When Athena didn't say anything else he spoke again, "What happens now?

"We keep taking it one day at a time."

Bobby lifted his head, "Where does this leave us, Athena?"

Athena wasn't ready to go there yet. "I don't know."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena contemplates her feelings and what the future holds for her and Bobby.

"I'm home." Bobby announced. 

"Hi." Athena turned from the stove.

"Can we talk?" Bobby asked her. 

Athena saw a serious look in his face. She nodded, "Okay." She turned to May, "Sweetie, can you keep an eye on dinner for a minute?"

"Yeah." May set down her pencil and walked to the stove. She glanced over her shoulder as she watched Bobby and Athena leave the kitchen. Something was going on between them, but she didn't know what. Harry hadn't seem to notice so May kept her observations to herself. 

Bobby closed the bedroom door behind him. "One month sober." He held out the chip to show her.

"I'm happy for you." Athena nodded. She really was happy, but her tone suggested otherwise. Silence fell again.

"Babe, what can I do?"

"What do you mean?" Athena asked. Her tone still cold, none of her usually warmth like how she used to speak to him.

"You are holding me at arms length. You didn't just put up a brick wall, you've put up a fortress around your heart. How do I get through? How can I get us back on track?" Bobby was feeling confortable with his routine again. Work, meetings, home, repeat. He was ready to work on repairing the damage he had done to their relationship.

"I don't know." Athena said quietly. She turned and took a seat on the bed.

He took a few steps towards her. "Athena, I can't fix I don't know." Bobby said gently. He didn't blame her for guarding her heart, but wanted to fix the hurt he caused. 

"I know." Her voice was still quiet. "Bobby," she looked at him, "This isn't just about you falling off the wagon. I forgive you for that, okay? I am happy you are sober again. I'm glad you've chosen sobriety."

"Then what is this?" Bobby asked. "Why are you guarding yourself so tightly?"

She responded with a question of her own. "What does our marriage mean to you?"

"Come again?" Bobby was taken aback.

"You didn't feel like it was important to reach out to me when you felt your sobriety slipping. You cast me and my feelings aside like they didn't matter. You belittled me and our relationship. So I'm going to ask you again, what does our marriage mean to you? What do I mean to you?" Athena turned away so he wouldn't see her struggle to keep from crying. She had been wresting with these questions for weeks.

"You mean everything to me. You are my wife Athena, that means more than you know." Bobby told her.

There was a knock at the door. "Um, dinner is ready." May said.

"We'll be right there." Bobby replied. He turned back to Athena. "Baby, please."

Athena didn't believe him. His words sounded empty and meaningless. "Harry and May are waiting." Athena took a breath to gather herself and walked out of the room.

Bobby sighed. That didn't go as he hoped. 

Dinner past uneventfully. Athena refused to meet Bobby's gaze no matter how many times he looked at her. Harry was excited to talk about his science project. Athena and Bobby were happy to listen. May occasionally jumped in with a comment, but mostly remained quiet. There wasn't a tension per se, but May noticed Bobby and Athena weren't acting like they used to. 

After dinner May and Athena cleaned up while Harry and Bobby went outside to play basketball.

"Mom." May wasn't entirely sure if she should bring it up. "I know something isn't right with you and Bobby."

"What makes you say that?" Athena asked.

"Isn't there? You sent me and Harry away last month without any explanation."

"I'm your mother I don't have to explain every action to you." Athena snapped. "I'm sorry May. I didn't mean to snap." Her anger with Bobby was spilling over. "This is between your stepfather and I."

"He relapsed didn't he?" May asked quietly.

Athena was silent for several moments. "He did. How did you know?"

"Bobby has gone to a meeting every day for a month. He used to only go to one, maybe two a week."

"Ninety meetings in ninety days." Athena explained.

"Are you okay?" May questioned. She knew this couldn't be easy on her mom.

"I'm just taking it one day at time." Athena told her.

"I'm sorry mom."

"It's okay honey." Athena smiled. "Does Harry know?"

May shook her head, "No."

"Please don't tell him." Athena requested.

"Of course not." May said.

"Good." Athena nodded.

"Are you going to get a divorce?' May dried another dish.

Athena turned off the faucet and turned to face May. "No sweetie. Bobby and I still love each other. Let us worry about us." She added knowing her daughter might try to help.

May was prevented from responding by the return of Harry and Bobby. Bobby sent her back to her homework while he finished helping Athena in the kitchen. 

"I'm going to shower." Bobby told her when they finished. 

When he got out of the shower Athena was sorting laundry on the bed. Bobby plucked a pair of boxers and a tee shift off the pile to wear to bed. Athena was aleady dressed for bed. Bobby hung up his towel and returned to the bedroom. He silently began helping Athena. 

"I don't know why I didn't think to pick up the phone and call you when I felt myself spiraling. I don't have an excuse. I don't have an explanation." Bobby broke the silence. "All I have is an apology."

"Did you even think about me?" Athena still didn't look at him.

"No." Bobby said sadly. He knew that was going to hurt her.

Athena stopped folding socks. "I see." She just stared at the little pile of socks, unsure what else to say.

Bobby walked around the bed to her side. "Athena I know you are angry, but know that I love you."

Athena shook her head. "No. I'm more than angry Bobby. I feel insignificant, like I don't matter to you. You have no idea how I feel. Stop trying to tell me how I feel. Please, just stop." She was tired of Bobby trying tell her how she felt, tired of the knot that wouldn't leave her gut, tired of the questions that circled her mind keeping her up at night, tired of all of it.

"I won't stop trying to make amends to you. I'm going to fight for you." He took a deep breath. "Unless… unless you don't want me to. If..if you're done. If this is over for you, I won't hold you back."

"Robert." Athena spoke suddenly. She turned amd saw the seriousness on his face. Athena put her hands on his face. "We aren't over. I'm not leaving you. I don't want a divorce. So get that thinking out of your head right now."

"Gladly." Bobby gave a shakey smile. He felt a great weight fall away.

"Now stop pushing me. I know you are sorry. I know you are remorseful, but that doesn't mean you get to bully me into forgiving you. I get to forgive you when I'm ready. I'm trying to get there, but I'm not ready yet."

"Okay." Bobby nodded. He started walking back to his piles of laundry. 

"And Bobby." Athena smiled. "I love you." 

Bobby blew her a kiss. "I love you."

**

"Thank you! I haven't had alcohol in the house for a month." After Bobby relasped Athena had boxed all the alcohol and hid in the garage and she stopped drinking wine at dinner. Athena gladly accepted the glass of wine from Maddie. She drained half the glass.

"Everything okay Athena?" Hen asked after sharing a look with Maddie. It wasn't like Athena to gulp down her wine.

"Am I a heartless monster?" She asked.

"Where is this coming from?" Hen looked surprised. 

Maddie shook her head. "No."

"I'm serious." Athena said.

"So are we. You are not a monster." Maddie replied.

"What's going on 'Thena?" Hen set her own glass down. The gulping down wine and questioning herself were very uncharacteristic of Athena.

"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing…with Bobby." Athena admitted.

"What are you doing?" Hen asked. Athena hadn't talked about Bobby in weeks. 

"Nothing. And I think that's the problem." Athena glanced between them. "I forgave him for losing his sobriety, but I haven't forgiven him for not asking for help. He didn't think to call me. In his words he didn't want to be a burden. That just makes my blood boil. How could he ever think he would be a burden?" Hen and Maddie were silent. Athena took another long drink of wine. She reached for the bottle and poured herself some more. "This is the part where you say Athena you're being a heartless monster or it's okay to be angry at Bobby for not thinking about you."

Hen and Maddie shared a look. Hen spoke, "Maybe you can be both."

"Helpful." Athena rolled her eyes.

"Maybe you had a reason before, but how long have you been mad at him? Maddie questioned. "How much longer are you going to punish him?"

"Has being mad at Bobby made you feel better?" Hen added. In her opinion it didn't look like this was helping. Athena looked more upset.

"It's been a month now. I feel little better. Being mad at Bobby is hard though." Hen and Maddie chuckled. "He is such a good guy and he's been doing his part. He's been going to meetings and doing everything he has to be doing. And I'm just sulking with my hurt feelings."

"Maybe you've had enough time then." Maddie pointed out. "If you don't want a divorce and you don't want to leave him, at some point you need to get past it so your relationship survives."

"We can't tell you you're overreacting or letting him off easy. But what more do you have to gain from holding this against him any longer?" Hen questioned. "Bobby is very patient, but Maddie is right, at some point, maybe sooner than you think, he's going to start resenting you for holding this over him."

"You're right. I need to let this go." Athena agreed.

"Athena," Maddie replied, "that's not exactly what we meant. Don't just let it go. Tell Bobby what you need going forward. You need to tell him how you feel and what you want him to do or neither of you are going to learn anything."

"I know sharing how you feel isn't your favorite thing." Hen added. "But I think Maddie's right."

"Alright." Athena nodded. "Thank you." She clinked glasses with her friends. Athena appreciated their advice. Being at odds with Bobby was exhausting. Athena missed their conversations, his hugs, and yes, sex. As her thoughts lingered on all the things she missed about Bobby and their relationship, Athena felt the fortress guarding her heart crumble. She had to make things right before it was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Athena is ready to talk and Bobby continues to make amends to his family.
> 
> Chapter warning:
> 
> Explicit sexual content

A few days later Bobby had the day off and Athena didn't have to go into work until the evening. Athena yawned and stretched, waking up from her afternoon nap. Athena dressed and prepared her bag for work. Athena found Bobby working on some paperwork at the table. She bent down and kissed the top of his head.

"You're awake." He smiled at her. "Did you sleep alright."

"Fine." Athena replied taking a seat next to him.

"What's on your mind?" He asked watching her wring her hands together. 

"Let's talk."

"Okay, about what?" He pushed his paperwork to the side to give Athena his full attention. "Oh." He remarked looking at her expression. "Um, let's talk."

"At first I was angry at you for falling off the wagon. I didn't understand, but then we talked. But I was still mad at you. Mad that you didn't ask for help. Why didn't you call or text me in the morning? You could have told me it was the anniversary and it was going to be a hard day. But you didn't. You didn't share that with me, Bobby. I thought we were a couple that would share something like that. I thought that was something you would tell me. That's what I've been upset about these past few weeks." Athena kept her temper while she spoke. "I've been worried about us."

"Honestly, the thought didn't cross my mind." Bobby replied. "I justed wanted to put my head down and get through the day. I should have known I was worse off that day than I thought. I shouldn't have tried to toughen it out. I'm sorry. I promise I'll ask for help next time."

Athena took his hand, "Bobby, I'm not going to judge you or think you're weak for asking for help. You know I hate asking for help myself. I just want us to be honest with each other about how we feel and how we are doing."

"Okay, but that means you have to be honest too when I ask you how you are doing." Bobby answered. 

"Promise." Athena smiled.

"So we're alright?"

"We are more than alright." Athena kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Bobby kissed her. "The kids won't be looking for dinner for a little while. Bobby got a glint in his eye. "Wanna go make up?"

Athena blushed, "As great as that sounds. I got to get ready to leave for my shift." She stood to get something to eat.

"I'll be quick." Bobby tempted, snaking his arms around her preventing her from making her way to the kitchen. He pulled her gently into him and Athena sat down in his lap.

Athena chuckled. "I don't want this to be quick. I want it to be a thorough and complete make up." She spoke softly. Her tone leaving no question about her desire.

"Tomorrow night then." Bobby smiled already looking forward to it. He let her go prepare something to eat and returned to his paperwork. A little while later he put his work away and began preparing dinner for himself and the kids. 

Harry and May came out of their rooms to help set the table and say good bye to their mom. Athena kissed each of her kids on the head and her husband on the lips before walking out the door.

**

After dinner Bobby pulled out his phone to text Athena while he cleaned up. Harry sat at the table playing on his gaming console. May had excused herself to her room as soon as dinner was over.

Bobby: Did I miss a teenage catastrophe?

Athena: ???

Bobby: May barely said a word at dinner. She refused to answer any of my question in more that three words. 

Athena: …

Bobby: She's never this quiet with me. Should I be concern?

Athena: She knows… 

Bobby: Knows what?

Athena: About your relapse. She asked me about it the last week.

Bobby: I'm sorry. I know you tried to keep this from the kids. 

Athena: She's 17. Can't blame her for noticing. I'll talk to her when I get home tomorrow. 

Bobby: No, I'll talk to her. She should hear it from me.

Athena: Are you sure?

Bobby: Yes. I owe her that much. 

Athena: Let me know how it goes.

Bobby: Will do. Love you.

Athena: Love you too.

**

Bobby tapped his knuckles gently against the door to May's room. "May, can I come in?"

"Yeah." She called back. Bobby walked in. May glanced up from where she was sitting on her bed and sighed audibly. "What?" She asked when Bobby didn't say anything.

Bobby pulled her chair over from her desk and took a seat. "I think we need to talk." May looked up at him and Bobby went on knowing he had her attention. "I know you know that I relasped." May glanced down then back at Bobby as he continued. "I'm not proud of that, but I'm sober again and I want to help you with whatever you are feeling. Please, talk to me May. You can ask me anything." He leaned back in his chair and waited for her to speak.

"Okay." May nodded. "Why did you drink?"

"I had a hard day at work and it was the anniversary of the fire in Minnesota." Bobby answered. "I wasn't in a good place and I slipped."

"How much did you drink?" It wasn't terribly important but May was curious.

"About half a bottle of whiskey."

"How long were you sober before that?" 

"Almost two years." A bit of pride evident in his voice.

"Is that the longest you've been sober?"

"It is." Bobby nodded.

"Has mom seen you relapse before?"

"She has."

"Can you tell me about that? 

"Sure." Bobby said. "It was last year. A few months after the earthquake. We were receiving alot of baked goods from the community. One of the treats were laced with a drug, eh, LSD." Bobby kept going, "We were on shift. Chimney missed the brownies so he was sober. The rest of us got high." Bobby remembered little from that day.

"And mom forgave you for that?" May looked at him.

"She did. It wasn't my fault, but it reset the sobriety clock. She was just there." Bobby smiled thinking of his wife. He remembered Athena talking him off the rooftop. "She let me handle it how I needed to and supported me."

"And did she do that this time too?"

"She was there for whatever I needed. But she was angry and disappointed too."

"But she still forgave you?"

"May, addiction is a disease. I can do everything I possibly can to stay on track and stay sober, but I can't guarantee it's not going to happen. Athena was upset, and rightfully so, but yes, eventually she did forgive me."

"Okay."

"I'm not perfect. I'm doing my best. I love your mother and you and your brother. I don't want to do anything that's going to hurt you guys. This isn't easy for me. I know I've let you all down. I'm embarrassed about my behavior, but I want you to know that I want to be sober. I want to be someone you can be proud of. I don't want to do anything to jeoporadize this family. I know I probably don't have your trust right now, but I hope I can earn it back." He stood to leave when May didn't have anything else to say.

"Bobby?" May said as he reached the door. "I love you and I'm really happy you're sober." She bowed her head as tears slid down her cheeks.

Bobby walked back over and hugged her. "I'm sorry I put you through this. "You can always talk to me if you have questions." Bobby sat on the bed holding his stepdaughter for some time. Eventually May calmed down and declared she was ready to go to bed.

Bobby went into his bedroom and texted Athena  
Bobby: We talked. 

Athena: How did it go?

Bobby: I answered her questioned and I don't think she's quite at forgiveness, but at least she has a fuller picture. 

Athena: Okay. Thank you. 

Bobby: Good night. Love you.

Athena: Love you too.

**

"Anybody home?" Athena called out into the quiet house. Then she noticed Bobby out at the grill. She bit her lip and admired the view for a few moments.

Bobby turned at the sound of the sliding door. "Welcome home, babe."

She smiled. "Smells good." She peered at the grill. Athena never forgot how amazing her husband's skills were in the kitchen. "How's the home front?" She inquired, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Good." Bobby told her. "I'm happy your home."

"Me too." She rested her head against his back.

  
"You okay?" Bobby asked after hearing Athena sigh.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." He told her. Athena moved to stand beside him. "Will you tell the kids dinner will be ready soon?"

Athena nodded. "I'll let them know and then I'll change."

"Sounds good. I'll have dinner ready."

  
After dinner Bobby went out to meet with his sponsor. Athena was in bed when Bobby returned. Bobby quietly got into bed and cuddle against her.

"I'm still awake." Athena's voice startled him a little. He thought he was asleep. She turned to face him. "How was your meeting?"

"You don't trust me." Bobby responded flatly. He could hear it in the way her voice changed when she said meeting and saw it in her face.

"I trust that you love me and this family. I trust that you are going to do everything you can to make it home from work. I trust you when you say that you want our marriage to survive this. I just can't stop instantly assuming that when you go out you are drinking. That's going to take me some more time."

"I see." Bobby moved away from her a little. Maybe they weren't okay yet.

"Hey, come here." Athena spoke gently. "All I'm saying is it is going to take a little bit more time before I stop worrying you are going to drink everytime you leave the house. I believe you when you say your sober. I don't doubt you. I trust you." Bobby nodded but didn't move back towards her. Athena scooted over to him. "I love you. I won't stop loving you. I'm not giving up on you."

"I can't stop loving you either. I hate that I put you through this, but I'm trying to be a better man Athena."

"I know you are. I know you are trying. I'm so grateful for that. I'm proud of you. I know it isn't easy." She put her arm around him. "Now, if we're done talking I believe we have some more making up to do."

Bobby guided one of her legs around him as he spoke, "I believe you are correct Mrs. Nash."

"I love you." Athena whispered before pressing her lips against his.

Athena moved her lips gently against his. Bobby kissed her back slowly. Neither of them in a rush, both taking their time, focusing on the feeling, their connection. Bobby's fingertips ran down her arm producing goosebumbs as they grazed her skin. Athena's hand moved from his chest up to his shoulder. One of his hands moved down her side to her hip. Bobby caressed the back of her thigh before moving his hand to her hip.

Bobby moaned as Athena deepened this kiss. Her tongue lightly stroked his own. Bobby let her control the kiss for several minutes before taking control. His tongue danced with hers. Occasionally a moan escaped her lips. Athena felt the heat building in her depths. She slipped her hand under his shirt feeling his warm torso against the palm of her hand. She raked her fingers through his chest hair. Bobby sat up and helped Athena remove his shirt. He pulled at the hem of her negligee and Athena raised her arms above her head so he could pull it off. 

Athena lay back down beside Bobby. He rolled on top of her. Bobby rocked his hips gently against hers. Athena could feel his growing desire now. She moved her hands over his biceps feelings his musclar arms. She snaked one arm around him while her other hand played with his hair. Athena smiled up at him when they both took a moment to breathe. She got lost in his soft brown eyes. She loved this man with her whole heart.

"I love you." Athena whispered, her fingers gently toying with the hair at the base of his head. 

"And I love you." Bobby replied not think his heart could be any fuller.

Athena locked her ankles around his waist. Her hips moved against his. She raised her lips back to his. Bobby kissed her just as calm as before, but this time he couldn't ignore the growing ache he felt in his boxers. Having Athena's legs wrapped around him was not helping. By the groans coming from her husband that were becoming more frequent Athena knew he was just as eager as she was to continue. Moisture from Athena's sex was also starting to dampen Bobby's boxers. 

Bobby pulled Athena's legs from his waist. He got up to remove the last article of clothing between them. He positioned himself between her legs. He didn't have to wait very long for Athena's consent. Athena arched her back at the familar feeling of her husband entering her. Bobby moaned as he moved slowly inside her. 

"Oh Bobby." Athena breathed meeting his gaze.

He could see the pleasure in her face grow with each thrust. The couple found an easy, steady rhythm. Nothing fancy. Just their two bodies moving together. Athena gasped feeling Bobby's full length buried between her legs.

Bobby lowered his lips to her ear as his thrusts became a little more urgent. "Athena." He grunted.

"Bobby." Athena's nails raked his back. She guided his lips back to hers. "Oh!" Bobby was gently rubbing her clit between his thumb and index finger releasing a whole new wave of pleasure throughout Athena's body. 

Bobby could hear her heavy breathing. Athena moved her legs back around his waist, but didn't lock them as tightly around him as she did before.

"A...A…Athena." Bobby groaned.

"Bobby...Oh...YES…OH BOBBY." Athena cried out in a quiet, breathless scream.

"ATHENA." Bobby moaned. He pressed his lips together firmly to prevent himself from yelling. Athena heard a few more unintelligible noises from Bobby as she felt his release.

Bobby's arms shook as he supported himself. Athena's sweaty body was still under him. She recovered before he did. 

"You're glowing." He told her finally rolling off her.

"And you are bursting with happiness." She responded.

"All because of my amazing wife." He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"Bobby." Athena complained, "I'm hot and sweaty." 

"And beautiful." He kissed her cheek, but removed his arms. He ran a hand down her back as she sat up. "I love you."

Athena turned to smile at him, "I love you too."   
Bobby looked up at the ceiling as he heard the bathroom door close. 

"Anything else you want to tell me about your talk with May?" Athena asked when she returned. She respected both her daughter's and husband's privacy but wanted to make sure there wasn't anything she could do.

"No." Bobby shook his head. "I'm giving her the same privacy to deal with her feelings that I gave you and you gave me. I told her she could come to me if she wanted to talk about it and that I hope, in time, she'll forgive me."

"Thank you." Athena said after some time.

"For what?" Bobby looked at her.

"For being willing to have that conversation with her."

"I didn't want to have to have that conversation with her, like I didn't want to have it with you. But I also needed to have that conversation with her. May is old enough to understand and I want to be honest and open with her about it."

"You are a good man Bobby Nash." Athena was almost at a loss for words. Her husband's effort to build relationships with Harry and May and his dedication to their little family meant everything to Athena.

"You should meet my wife she's pretty incredible herself." He teased.

Athena snuggled against him, "Is that so?" A smile sounded in her voice.

"Good night Athena." Bobby kissed the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for following this little story.


End file.
